If you have an adolescent/college-aged son or work with this male population, Peggy Orenstein’s book Boys & Sex is a must-read. The book is candid and based on many interviews with adolescent and college-aged males. I was struck with how much the high school locker room mentality rules the emotional lives of males. Orenstein is careful to say that her interviewees were largely males who tended to be college-bound. It would be fascinating to have a wider demographic of males. From porn use to the language about women, the book is informative.
30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics by Adelyn Birch gives a language to psychological abuse and control tactics. Two tactics in particular—emotional invalidation and intermittent reinforcement—are the most effective tools to bond people into unhealthy relationships, and they are two of the most powerful motivators for humans. Emotional invalidation means that you are ignored, dismissed, neglected, and the needs of the other person are superior to yours. Intermittent reinforcement means that you are good one time, bad the next time, and the emotional response is hot and cold. Intermittent reinforcement is unpredictable.
