Body languageAs I have been doing Navigating Emotional Realities with Adults workshops, there have been a lot of interesting questions submitted by participants on the workshop evaluation form. I try to answer them all.

How to improve body language?

You might enjoy the work of Amy Cuddy—look her up on YouTube. She has done quite a bit of work on this subject and about how our own posture impacts our attitude. For a team that is working well together, improving body language could be a group effort. There is some vulnerability in doing it in a group, so that has to be considered. It may be something to work on with a trusted coworker or friend as well. The people who know you and care about you also know your body language best of all! Finally, and probably most obviously, you can use a mirror. Perhaps imitate body language you have seen in others that you would like to have yourself. Caution: This is a weird thing to do! It will make you feel like a teenager again! Most of us are pretty critical of what we look like and prefer not to look at ourselves for a prolonged period. But it can be a good activity for working on self-acceptance and self-awareness in general, and it is worth working through the early uncomfortable moments if you decide to try it.

I’m not sure that I understand why we can’t change our attachment style, but we can rewrite our stories, habits, responses, etc. I get that we can’t change history, but wouldn’t building strong, healthy relationships as adults or adolescents then change our attachment style? Wouldn’t it rewrite our tendencies to be insecure, avoidant, and anxious?

As best as I can understand it, because our attachment style is developed so early in life, there are aspects of that style that will always be a part of us, including in adult relationships. However, we can learn to recognize the insecurities and essentially overwrite the original programming with better relationships and relationship habits. This becomes “earned secure attachment.”

The workshop, Navigating Emotional Realities with Adults, will be offered live online on November 29 and 30 with Jim Ott. Participants will: learn how to identify and explain the neuroscience of emotional development, learn about tools that help create a safer work environment, understand the story they carry within themselves, recognize how adult development impacts the workplace, and learn strategies to motivate behaviors needed in the workplace. Register today.