Dr. Ruby Payne’s research has provided me insight into my own brain. Male and female brains are physically wired differently. It helped me gain understanding into why my family frustrates me. I am the mother of three sons, and I have two brothers. Males in my life have a different sensitivity system than I do.

I cannot listen to two things at once because my brain is physically wired differently. My father, brothers, and sons are comfortable having the television on while talking on the phone, playing guitar, watching a TikTok video, and having a conversation with someone in the room simultaneously. It drives me insane. I cannot cope with two sources of stimuli. I can only listen to one thing at a time, or I become overstimulated and grumpy. Due to the fact that I’m outnumbered by males, I thought I was the crazy one, and so did they.

I thought I was just the difficult one until I read Emotional Poverty in All Demographics. This text explained that my brain works differently than the brains of my dominantly male family. I love hearing my son play guitar. I love watching a film with my family. I love family conversations. I absolutely hate all of these happening at once.

My mother holds the television remote in my parents’ home, and when she wants to discuss something, she pauses the television to speak, even in the middle of a movie we are watching as a family. I used to grow frustrated at the disruption in my attention to the film, but now I understand that this is our commonality of female brains that function in a way that does not allow for side chatter. Dr. Payne’s research opened my eyes to the differences in male and female brains and our ability to mentally tune out what is not our focus.